Suffering is Good

Part of growing up is experiencing the up and down emotions that life brings. I for one feel like we are too tender with our dear young these days–loyal readers just may have picked up on this ‘subtle’ hint. We give kids prizes for just being present. Adults are not treated this way. If you do your job well, you deserve benefits, if you do poorly, you suffer the consequences. Do you remember the movie, “A League of Their Own?” I agree with Tom Hank’s character who yelled, “Are you crying?! Are you crying?! There’s no crying in baseball.” I change baseball with most every task, as my kids cry for them ALL.

Our society’s kids cry every time they don’t get an ‘A’ for effort. It’s ridiculous. Grow a pair. Yes, I sometimes say this to my kids. Yes, the girl too.

Some crying actually can be helpful. We learn from our failures. The only true failure is when we don’t get back up after falling down.

My 13-year-old daughter has been applying for honor band for a few years now. She has also not made the cut for a few years now. Each time she cries. Each time we loving parents give her positive and loving reinforcement such as, “well, maybe if you practiced more,” or “Great Scott, did you hear how good those OTHER kids are?” or “I didn’t think you stood a chance.” Those usually helped to make her feel better. Well actually,because I’m not good at pep talks, I usually have to take kids to ice cream afterward. The ice cream has more of a way with kids than do I–for some reason.

Well today, dear reader, she made the cut. She has actually been working harder to achieve her goals. She is a better flutist than she would be if she was just taken into the advanced band ‘just because it’s mean not to.’

She is so happy. I can’t wait to go home and tell her, “It’s about time! I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever make it.”

This just goes to show you that the more you make your kids suffer, the better they will be……eventually.