When People Suck

My mother took a job two years ago at a Financial Services firm where she works  in compliance. The industry requires that any client complaint be logged, saved, and responded to. Complaints are normally related to some loss of money, misunderstanding of charges, or unease about recommendations that were made by the advisor. Financial Advisors, like lawyers, have developed a bad rap over the past few years. Some recent studies have shown that respect in their field is just below used car salesman. Most people are generally good and want to help others. There are a few bad seeds in any industry.

Sometimes the general public are the bad seeds. Why do people think that they can treat their service providers disrespectfully? You’re wondering by now if I have a specific example. I do. Without further preamble I would like to share a recent letter that came across mom’s desk. It was addressed to his/her financial advisor:

“Dear Dick Head, Give me back the money you stold (sp) you thieving queer.”



If you’re asking if this is an actual letter, it is. You can’t believe it? Neither can I. We are the most developed country in the world and our education system sucks. I mean how can a full-grown adult with enough money to invest have such atrocious grammar? I’m okay with the capitalized Dick Head, as it’s used as a name. But, ‘stold’?? This is a letter addressed to a professional corporation. Has the educational backbone of our great country failed us?

I can forgive his general ignorance regarding financial markets. I’m not thrilled about his lack of responsibility for his own investment decisions. But his note makes me want to return one of my own:

Dear Monkey Brain,

I am sorry that your account has gone down in value along with the general market. But I must take offense to your letter. It’s not that you have addressed it ‘Dick Head,’ or inferred that your advisor is a queer–maybe he is, but your use of the “word” ‘stold’ troubles me. I hope I can chalk this up as a typo. ‘D’ and ‘E’ are adjacent on a typical QWERTY keyboard. Please tell me this is what happened. Please don’t tell me that you’re that fucking stupid. The outcome of our investigation into your complaint is pending your response. If you meant to use ‘stold,’ we will put your note in the ‘moron’ box. If it was a simple typo, then we will research further.

Warmest regards,

The Compliance Department


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